Funny One Liners - Phrases

With you I should love to live, with you be ready to die.
~Author : Horace Famous Quotes

When you learn how to die, you learn how to live.
~Author : Morrie Schwartz Tuesdays with Morrie Inspirational Sayings
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For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be dropped to be replased either by "k" or "s", and likewise "x" would no longer be part of the alphabet. The only kase in which "c" would be retained would be the "ch" formation, which will be dealt with later. Year 2 might reform "w" spelling, so that "which" and "one" would take the same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish "y" replasing it with "i" and Iear 4 might fiks the "g
j" anomali wonse and for all.

Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12 or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants. Bai Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez "c", "y" and "x" -- bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez -- tu riplais "ch", "sh", and "th" rispektivli.

Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud
hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.
~Author : Mark Twain A Plan for the Improvement of English Spelling Nice Quotes

Gabriel Oh come on Stan Not everything ends the way you think it should Besides, audiences love happy endings.
~Author : Swordfish Great Sayings

Where all think alike, no one thinks very much.
~Author : Walter Lippmann Meaningful Sayings

The most dangerous leadership myth is that leaders are born-that there is a genetic factor to leadership. This myth asserts that people simply either have certain charismatic qualities or not. That's nonsense in fact, the opposite is true. Leaders are made rather than born. Failing organizations are usually over-managed and under-led.
~Author : Warren Bennis Wise Quotes

Speech is conveniently located midway between thought and action, where it often substitutes for both.
~Author : John Andrew Holmes Wisdom in Small Doses Motivational Sayings

Well, spring sprang. We've had our state of grace and our little gift of sanctioned madness, courtesy of Mother Nature. Thanks, Gaia. Much obliged. I guess it's time to get back to that daily routine of living we like to call normal.
~Author : David Assael Famous Quotes

We are all in the hands of an omnipotent, omniscient, just and merciful God, and whatever may be the destiny of humanity (for real or woe), there will be a universal and eternal amen to all that God does.
~Author : W T Ussery Inspirational Sayings

Funny quotes and one liners

How is the Empire?
~Author : George V last words 21 January 1936 Famous Quotes

I tried to resist his overtures, but he plied me with symphonies, quartettes, chamber music, and cantatas.
~Author : SJ Perelman Inspirational Sayings

We are born brave, trusting and greedy, and most of us remain greedy.
~Author : Author Unknown Nice Quotes

If a little dreaming is dangerous, the cure for it is not to dream less but to dream more, to dream all the time.
~Author : Marcel Proust Great Sayings

Whenever any form of government becomes destructive of these ends [life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness] it is the right of the people to alter or abolish it, and to institute new government...
~Author : Thomas Jefferson The Declaration of Independence Meaningful Sayings

Everybody wants to be somebody nobody wants to grow.
~Author : Johann von Goethe Wise Quotes

If the world were a logical place, men would ride side saddle.
~Author : Rita Mae Brown Motivational Sayings

Do not wish to be anything but what you are, And try to be that perfectly.
~Author : Saint Francis de Sales Famous Quotes

Slang is a language that rolls up its sleeves, spits on its hands and goes to work.
~Author : Carl Sandburg Inspirational Sayings

Funny One Liner Jokes, Oneliners

My opponent called me a cream puff. ... Well, I rushed out and got the baker's union to endorse me.
~Author : Claiborne Pell Famous Quotes

Of what shall a man be proud, if he is not proud of his friends
~Author : Robert Louis Stephenson Inspirational Sayings

Kindness is the life's blood, the elixir of marriage. Kindness makes the difference between passion and caring. Kindness is tenderness. Kindness is love, but perhaps greater than love ... Kindness is good will. Kindness says, 'I want you to be happy.' Kindness comes very close to the benevolence of God.
~Author : Randolph Ray Nice Quotes

It is impossible to design a system so perfect that no one needs to be good.
~Author : T S Eliot Great Sayings

The greatest oak was once a little nut who held its ground....
~Author : Unknown Meaningful Sayings

Diplomacy: lying in state.
~Author : Oliver Hereford Wise Quotes

Say what you will about the sweet miracle of unquestioning faith, I consider a capacity for it terrifying and absolutely vile!
~Author : Kurt Vonnegut Jr Motivational Sayings

His mother called such people ignorant and superstitious, but his father only shook his head slowly and puffed his pipe and said that sometimes old stories had a grain or two of truth in them and it was best not to take chances. It was why, he said, he crossed himself whenever a black cat crossed his path.
~Author : Stephen King Famous Quotes

The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly.
~Author : Richard Bach Inspirational Sayings

funny one-liners, quotes, jokes and sayings!

A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines.
~Author : RW Emerson SelfReliance Famous Quotes

Purchase not friends by gifts when thou ceasest to give, such will cease to love.
~Author : Thomas Fuller Inspirational Sayings

...it is a base thing to look to others for your defense instead of depending upon yourself. That defense alone is effectual, sure, and durable which depends upon yourself and your own valor.
~Author : Niccolo Machiavelli The Prince Nice Quotes

The great act of faith is when a man decides he is not God.
~Author : Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr Great Sayings

Friendships that have stood the test of time and change are surely best.
~Author : Joseph Parry Meaningful Sayings

He has the right to criticize who has the heart to help.
~Author : Abraham Lincoln Wise Quotes

The man who follows a crowd will never be followed by a crowd.
~Author : R S Donnell Motivational Sayings

Technology is the knack of so arranging the world that we do not experience it.
~Author : Max Frisch Famous Quotes

Understand that the right to choose your own path is a sacred privilege. Use it. Dwell in possiblity.
~Author : Oprah Winfrey O Magazine Inspirational Sayings